Quick answer: ACCEPTS is a DBT distress tolerance skill: nine ways to take your attention off an overwhelming emotion until it drops to a level you can work with. The letters stand for Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts and Sensations; the last two are one thing in the moment and Vacation. It is temporary distraction with a plan to return, not avoidance.

When should you use ACCEPTS?

Use it when the emotion is high, the problem cannot be solved in this moment, and you need to get through the next hour without making things worse. It is a crisis survival skill.

It is not the right tool for a problem you could solve now, and it is not a permanent strategy. If distraction is the only skill you ever use, the problem stays and the emotion keeps returning.

What are the nine ACCEPTS skills?

Activities
Do something that needs your attention: clean a room, walk a route, play a game, cook. The activity has to occupy enough of your mind to compete with the rumination.
Contributing
Turn attention outwards: message someone who is struggling, make tea for a housemate, volunteer, help a neighbour. Contributing interrupts the inward loop.
Comparisons
Compare this moment with a time you survived something harder, or with how it could be worse. Used carefully, it creates perspective. Used carelessly, it becomes "other people have it worse, so stop complaining".
Emotions
Generate a different emotion on purpose: a funny video, loud music, a horror film, a sad book. A different emotion interrupts the one that has taken over.
Pushing away
Set the problem aside for a defined period. Write it on a note, put it in a drawer, and decide when you will return to it. This is postponement, not permanent suppression.
Thoughts
Occupy the verbal mind: count backwards, do a crossword, list every capital city you know, recite a poem. It gives the thinking part of your brain a different job.
Sensations
Use a strong but safe physical sensation: cold water on your wrists, a sour sweet, ice in your hand, a hot shower. Sensation can interrupt a spiral faster than reasoning.
One thing in the moment
Give all your attention to the next small task and nothing else: wash one cup, make the bed, walk to the corner. Not the day, not the week — the next thing.
Vacation
Take a brief mental break: one episode, a nap, a walk with music. Brief is the operative word. A twenty-minute break is a skill; three days in bed is avoidance.

An example: after a fight at 11 p.m.

You are at 90 out of 100 anger after an argument, and everyone you would call is asleep.

  • Activities: wash the dishes, deliberately and completely.
  • Sensations: cold water on your wrists, then a hot drink.
  • One thing in the moment: make the tea, nothing else.
  • Thoughts: list ten films you have seen this year.
  • Vacation: one episode of something familiar.
  • Return plan: write “talk to Sam tomorrow at 6” on a note and put it by the kettle.

The anger may still be there in the morning. The evening is no longer being spent composing a message you would regret.

Distraction versus avoidance

Distraction is time-limited and has a return plan. Avoidance has neither.

Before you distract, write down two things: what you are postponing, and when you will come back to it. If you cannot name a time, the skill has turned into avoidance. That does not make you a failure; it means the next step is to use a different skill, or to get support with the problem itself.

Common mistakes

  • Using ACCEPTS to never face anything. The return plan is part of the skill.
  • Comparisons that become self-invalidation. “Other people have it worse” is not the point; perspective is.
  • Pushing away as permanent suppression. The problem gets a time and a place, not a bin.
  • Choosing something that re-triggers you. Social media is usually a bad choice in a crisis, because it supplies new material.
  • Expecting distraction to fix the emotion. It lowers intensity; it does not resolve the cause.

Frequently asked questions

How long should I distract myself for?

Minutes to about an hour — until the intensity drops enough to use a skill like check the facts or problem-solving. The return plan matters more than the duration.

Is distraction bad in DBT?

No. Distraction is an explicit crisis survival skill. It becomes a problem only when it is the only thing you do and the underlying issue is never addressed.

What if nothing in ACCEPTS works?

Try TIPP first, because body chemistry can shift arousal when attention skills cannot. Then contact someone, and if you are unsafe, use local crisis support or emergency services rather than relying on a skill alone.